Rooster Fight, My video

Mis-Understanding

Once A thief caught during an home invasion in a village. The Villagers  beat him badly all the day. When the night come the villagers binded the thief  nudely with a rope on a tree near a cow shade. The thief shouted with pain whole night. He screamed several times.
Now the morning show ! In the morning when all the villagers united near the tree they saw the thief totally di-energized at leaned to the tree. The villagers show humility to the thief and opened the rope binded to him.The thief sat there for a while. After some times he stood up accidentally and picked a big stick from near something. Then he goes to a cow-calf and beaten him badly with the stick for a short time. The villagers astonished by seeing the thief's  behavior. After a while one of the villagers asked the thief  for why he is doing so stupid job. The thief replied that when the villagers left him nude by binding. There was the little cow-calf near him. whose mother was not there. When the Calf felt hungry in the night she looked over the thief. She think that the thief was his mother. And he started to fill his stomach with a non cow mother. Whole night the calf doing that job . And the thief can't able to do anything accept screaming.

Zoo Job

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.

He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.
So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"

Suicide Blonde Goes To The Hospital!

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor.
"You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger." 
(Courtesy : www.superlaugh.com)

This is not told to me....!

But Landing Is expensive my son....

(Photo of wing airlines, indonesia)

(Courtesy: engrish.com)

Funny Cartoons

Cricket :

(Courtesy : Satish)

Titanic

When Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked santa. "How far is land ?"
Santa: 2 km's. (Englishman jumped into d sea)
Englishman: Now ! Which way ?
Santa: DOWNWORDS

Bajpayee and Advani.

VAJPAYI: I got retired, can i marry now?
 ADWANI: Do it?
VAJPAYI: Can i get married to a widdow?
ADWANi : No sir, get married to a virgin, she will get widowed automatically.

Bajpayee and Advani.(HINDI)

VAJPAYI:Retire ho gya hu,ji chahta hai ab to shadi kr lu? ADWANI:Karlo? VAJPAYI:Kisi vidhwa se kr lu? ADWANI:Kuwari se hi kr lo, Vidhwa to apne ap ho jayegi.

buy a scooty.....pick up a beauty,drink a frooty.... take her to ooty,remove her nighty...do ur duty.,after 9 months ... get a cuty};-

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u - it's really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp ..... I'm playing cards and we've misplaced the JOKER

S_nrise, B_terfly, pict_re, L_nch, b_s stand, fig_re, m_sic, all r very boring witho_t yo_, I think i miss u.

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

Do pal ki bhi khushi na mili to kya hua umr bhar gam ke sahare ji lenge, Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi, hum aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge.

Gud morning....Kindly observe SILENCE 4 2 min in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night
after sucking ur blood.THANK

Good night my very special friend,I pray you lay in rest,And may tomorrow bring you,Much love and happiness.do not think of me...i m in ur eyes.

Life is nothing without LOVE, LUV is emotion & Kiss is practical, don't get emotional yar just b practical so STOP luving and START Kissing.

Gentleman Be Warned

The old man and the parrot

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?" The old man answered, "Well yes, actually, I have. I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son. 

Swine Flu Fear

(Courtesy: Satish)

The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
   
The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
   
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
   
The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies.  The rabbit had it coming.
   
The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay!  Okay! I'm a rabbit!  I'm a rabbit!

Q: Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Q:  Why did the Chicken cross the road?

Anderson Consultant:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median 

processes.  The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

(Courtesy : Funs.co.uk)

The Man and The Cashier

I Know This Laywer

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.

You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail within 3 minutes!"
(courtesy: Onlyfunnystories.com)

Salman's Criecket team

Bollywood Star Salman Khan Planing to buy a IPL Team. He Launches His Team Jersey Topless.

Courtesy: Satish Acharya, Joke Cricket.